wonder how my newly-married buddy is doing. probably as frustrated as ever. somehow this particular institution holds no fascination for me. i'd love to make babies though. little cute innocent empty vessels just waiting to be filled with the crap the world has to offer. no worries i know where i'll be coming from when i get to that point.

ohhhh yeaaahhhh seems like i've been semi-residing in Sri Hartamas the past few days, starting from Saturday. every night chillin' out there... Uncle Don's becoming too much of a regular hangout. and my lungs, filled with smoke from the hookah... can't be good having all that smoke in me, can it?

i know this woman. she's tall, beautiful, big smile, and a seemingly endless supply of optimism. she's also got cancer and it's spreading like wildfire. at this moment in time she's so full of life, energy and light, that i've got a lot to learn. Carpe diem. Seize the moment. that's what she's doing. not taking any minute for granted. how many minutes do we really have? this particular lady - WOW! she's infectious in her will to LIVE and make it through the day. i could hardly believe when she said she vomits blood every day. it's never fair is it, dear God.

And here i am, this useless lazy piece of shit, not worthy of the air i breathe, uncaring and selfish. and in almost-perfect health. it's never fair, dear God. and tonight i believe in the power of prayer. I pray for you, for the difference you've made in those around you. I pray that your strength, power, and optimism will prevail over all. Thank you for the lessons. This life we take for granted. God will listen to my prayer tonight. I want Him to. This world needs a candle in these times of darkness. And not have that light snuffed out when it's about to shine so bright. God please no no no no.

It's never fair is it.

seize the moment. i must.